Your Words and Actions Matter

Our words and actions have far more impact than we often realize. That is particularly true with small children who are sponges, absorbing everything they see and hear. While the impact on adults tends to be less – at least we take it for granted to be – what we say and do can affect those around us more than we expect.

       The right words or actions at the right time can change someone’s life in amazing ways. Of course, there is a dark side in which the wrong words or actions can cause harm even if those words or actions were accidental. For this post, I’ll focus on the former and how we can positively impact others through what we say, how we say it, and what we do every day.

      I was reminded of this when my wife told me that in a recent conversation with her godson, he shared something I said to him several years ago at his sister’s wedding. At the time he was dating a woman who wanted to get married, and he was feeling pressure from family and friends to take that path. He was not ready and was conflicted about what to do so as not to hurt her or lead her on. As he spoke to me about his situation, I suggested that to be true to himself – and to her - it would be best to “rip the Band-Aid off”. He did that and both he and the woman were able to get on with their lives. For him, the result was finding someone he did want to marry, and as of last week, having a newborn daughter. Congratulations Matt & Jennifer!

      For me, a life-changing philosophy came from my first boss, the owner of the pet shop I worked at through high school and college. When we came to work each day, there was a list of things to get done before closing time. He wanted us to focus on that list, when not helping customers, until all the items were done. Once done, we could relax, play with the puppies and kittens, talk to our friends, etc. as long as we didn’t neglect customers. That instilled in me the drive to complete open tasks prior to taking time out, which resulted in much more free time in the long run. My wife will say – with an eye-roll – that I can be obsessive about that at times and that I have difficulty fully relaxing with a task hanging over my head. Mostly true, but the plus side is that when I’m done, I’m done. Nothing to have to get back up and finish. That is a great feeling.

      When I moved up at the store to supervise others, I followed the owner’s philosophy and practiced it with my own daily list. Most of the kids got it, even if at first they grumbled. After a couple of shifts when they had plenty of time to chill out with the animals or could hang out and talk with their friends (which was always OK as long as it didn’t keep them from the work at hand), they were on board. A few couldn’t deal with it and left to work in other retail establishments. All of them either came back or reported back that they much preferred my style of work because it made each shift go easier.

      In the corporate world, people leaders have a responsibility to develop their employees and part of that means being cognizant of how their words and actions impact those who report to them. Understanding what motivates employees and what each person’s goals are enables leaders to choose their words and to act intentionally to maximize results for their employees and the company. Not always easy, but good leaders make it a top priority, and to the best leaders it comes naturally.

      Examples in sports are also important. The majority of my teammates on all of the hockey teams I played on, and my softball team, are always positive (which is why I chose to stay on those teams no matter if we lost much more than we won). When a player makes a major mistake, the rest of us help him get over it and learn for next time rather than giving him a hard time for the error. From this, guys become self-accountable for their play and point out their own mistakes, even apologizing to the rest of the team. That creates a stronger team and makes it more fun to play. After all, we’re in beer leagues, not the pros. Even there, a positive approach builds player and team confidence and pays off in the long term.

      The overriding message here is that you never know when or how what you say or do will have an impact on someone else so always be aware of how you can affect others.

www.RetiredandInspiredat55.com  05-13-2024